How do you stay positive when you lose your job? First step

It always hurts to lose a job. Even if it’s not a surprise, it’s always a shock. I remember my experience at my last job. My boss’ assistance called and said, “He wants to see you right now in his office.” I thought, “I wonder who he’s letting go [after all, as VP of HR, I’m one of the first to know]. I wonder if it’s me.” So it wasn’t a complete surprise, but it was certainly a shock.

Why is it a shock? First of all, many things in your life are going to change including your daily routine, your relationships, and your financial situation. Often your self-esteem takes a hit. Acknowledge the hurt and pain—it’ll help you move on. Feel free to cry, scream, dump on a trusted relative, friend and/or spouse. You want to move on, but not before you’re ready. That’ll only come back to bite you.

Remember the stages of grief based on Kubler Ross’ work on people in mourning? It applies whether you’ve lost a loved one or experienced other major loss, such as losing a job. Let yourself go through the cycle. Just make sure you don’t get stuck in any of the stages. They are:

SHOCK: Even if you’re not surprised, you might be shocked. It’s normal.

DENIAL: When you tell yourself this isn’t really happening

ANGER: Don’t hold it in, but don’t go overboard either

DEPRESSION: As a result of realizing that the loss really is happening

ACCEPTANCE: Moving forward. For me, this blog is part of my move forward

The cycle isn’t this clean, and you can go back and forth between stages, so more tips and ideas in the next blog for staying positive.