Sunday, March 1, 2009

Staying in Control of Your Life


A major part of staying positive after you lose a job is to regain the feeling that you ARE in control of your life. Here’s how Dan Kesselring looks at it:

I [look] at each change as an opportunity, not a tragedy. [I use] a simple four-step process:
• Assess your desires and skills,
• Research (including lots of networking),
• Make a plan, and then
• Execute the plan.

You'll learn a lot along the way so don't stop there--continually go back to the beginning and reassess, etc. The key is to reconcile your career plan with reality. Times change, the job market changes, so things "ain't what they used to be".

The more you involve yourself in the process, the more in control you'll be and the more positive you will feel. When you're waiting for the phone to ring and it doesn't, how depressing is that? Instead, dial for dollars and make it ring on the other end. There are two types of people--those who make things happen and those who watch things happen. A saying from the Far North: "The scenery only changes for the lead dog."


Another way to feel in control is to STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES!!

I have been “disemployed” twice. I take advantage of the time to spend time with people I care about that I wouldn’t get to spend time with if I was working full time: my three children, my husband, my mother, my friends. I take a class that I enjoy on Tuesday mornings. I use the miles I collected while working to travel. I read the books I’ve been wanting to read—not business books! When I do these things, I remember who I am as a whole person, not just a professional, and it helps me to feel positive. None of this stops me from following Dan’s advice above—but more on that next time.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Starting this blog

I’ve decided to do it—come into the 21st century by creating my own blog. More about me at http://www.linkedin.com/in/donnahorowitz.

This started a year ago when I finished my employment at my last job—VP of HR for the Plumbing Products Division at Elkay Manufacturing. I’ve been in job search mode since leaving there, and have decided to keep my eyes open for a job that’s a good fit for me where I can help the company and its employees, as I’ve done in my past jobs. In the meantime, I am looking for short-term consulting gigs where I can do the same. I add the most value (by lowering costs and/or increasing sales) in the areas of Performance, Organization Effectiveness, and Leadership, so I am calling the business POEL Consulting (pronounced like Noel).

I am going to start with advice about getting over losing a job, and then moving forward. After all, I’ve become something of an expert in the last year. I hope to get lots and lots of comments and feedback from anyone who reads this blog. Here goes!

Friday, February 20, 2009

How do you stay positive when you lose your job? First step

It always hurts to lose a job. Even if it’s not a surprise, it’s always a shock. I remember my experience at my last job. My boss’ assistance called and said, “He wants to see you right now in his office.” I thought, “I wonder who he’s letting go [after all, as VP of HR, I’m one of the first to know]. I wonder if it’s me.” So it wasn’t a complete surprise, but it was certainly a shock.


Why is it a shock? First of all, many things in your life are going to change including your daily routine, your relationships, and your financial situation. Often your self-esteem takes a hit. Acknowledge the hurt and pain—it’ll help you move on. Feel free to cry, scream, dump on a trusted relative, friend and/or spouse. You want to move on, but not before you’re ready. That’ll only come back to bite you.


Remember the stages of grief based on Kubler Ross’ work on people in mourning? It applies whether you’ve lost a loved one or experienced other major loss, such as losing a job. Let yourself go through the cycle. Just make sure you don’t get stuck in any of the stages. They are:


SHOCK: Even if you’re not surprised, you might be shocked. It’s normal.

DENIAL: When you tell yourself this isn’t really happening

ANGER: Don’t hold it in, but don’t go overboard either

DEPRESSION: As a result of realizing that the loss really is happening

ACCEPTANCE: Moving forward. For me, this blog is part of my move forward


The cycle isn’t this clean, and you can go back and forth between stages, so more tips and ideas in the next blog for staying positive.